The other day I was reflecting on how difficult it is today to sit down and “talk story” with people over any period of time. Our electronic connection has made substantive face to face communication difficult, at best, and it stands in stark contrast to my memories of how people interacted sixty or seventy years ago. When in a group of adults, children were expected to be quiet and attentive, not texting their pals or listening to various forms of electronic entertainment. There was a sense of the “present” when people got together. In family gatherings there was a subtle process of indirectly teaching the young about life, their heritage, and how to grapple with the tough issues that awaited them. For example, simple concepts were often repeated by Mama when she spoke of how to treat other people. A rule of life that was important for her and was repeated time and time again for our benefit was, “It doesn’t cost a penny to be nice to people.” This concept combined with the numerous times I saw her act this principle of life out, remains a powerful guide for my life. It was communication and teaching at its very best and is a guide we should remember with our children and friends.

I am not comfortable with the gigabytes of data that we exchange each day with people in the next room or ten thousand miles away that we often think of as meaningful communication and “getting to know” others. Modern technology should enhance, not replace, the traditional method of “contact sport” interaction and communication. This costs time and focused effort; both commodities we tend to be reluctant to use in  place of electronic clicks. As we survey those relationships that we hold dear, we should be especially sure that our investment in those relationships not be measured in computer time or numbers of text messages. Take the time to interact with those we cherish. Learn the great discipline of listening and pondering. Celebrate and cultivate creative silence with friends and families and break it only with the desire to draw closer in your relationship, be more effective in your nurturing or teaching, or deepen your understanding of the other person.

Life is a contact sport. We need to be engaged with each other while following the rules of God’s unconditional grace if we are to play it successfully! People form the sinews of our lives and we need to keep our relationships with them real and healthy. Don’t be tempted to replace this principle with electronic substitutes! I guess I am desperate for all of us to seek balance in this fast paced and often confusing life we lead. Melding modern technology with the nuts and bolts of real personal engagement and empathy is perhaps my ideal. We can embrace technological innovation and the importance of data if we also embrace the challenge of using it with wisdom and being sensitive to needing to know the paths others are taking in their life journeys. How about working on our own “screen abstinence” program?   Commit to a significant period of time where screens are taboo and engagement with “the good, the bad, the ugly, and the amazing” of other people takes priority. I know we will find ourselves blessed in the midst of the challenge of living in demanding times. Me ke aloha.

 

Though almost fifty years have passed, my Sunday afternoons in Guatemala with Captain Albert Warren have stayed with me and impacted my life substantially. Captain Warren was a retired United Fruit ship captain that lived in Guatemala City in retirement with his wife. Most of his life had been spent working on United Fruit ships carrying bananas from Central America to the east coast of the U.S. and returning with goods and ice for sale in the tropics. Captain Warren was a slow speaking, serious thinking, and earnest soul enjoying retirement when Judy and I met him and his wife at the Union Church in Guatemala City. The Warrens were kind and concerned and took us and our daughters under their wings with warm affection. When I accepted Christ into my life, Captain Warren was very supportive. He shared with me his story of struggling with the gospel in his life as a sailor and how when he had made a commitment to follow Jesus, his life as a ship’s captain allowed him many hours to dedicate to the study of the Bible. It was this gift that he asked to share with me and when I agreed, we began an amazing year of studying God’s Word on the floor of our living room (as you know, I’m more comfortable stretched out!). Hours of reading and discussions forged for me a strong and lasting affection for this man and for the scriptures he shared with me along with his life and struggles. It was bonding through real sharing and honest transparency that made my relationship with Captain Warren an unforgettable experience, one that would give me a love for God’s Word and a desire to use His Word as an anchor point for relationships with others.

Although we both moved away from Guatemala, we managed to keep connected through cards and letters. They had promised to pray for us daily and we know that they had done so, for when their daughter informed us of their passing, we had had a feeling that something had been amiss. An important pillar of prayer support for the Dill family was gone. What was not gone, however, was the legacy of scripture and personal engagement that Captain Warren had taught me. They remain with me today and I would strongly suggest you revive these types of engaged interactions in your lives if they are missing or weakened!